Whaaaaat No Helicopter?!

by emilynemilynabottleofwine

Let me begin this post by showing you a little picture in case you ever fear that we  here at the ol’ blog don’t take our Bach watching/reporting seriously

EK's Bach-viewing notes

Yes, those are the notes that EK took while watching this week’s much anticipated Hometown Date episode of the Bach, mostly because she didn’t trust me to remember all of this weeks awkwardness as we were drinking some Turning Leaf Pinot Noir (On sale for $8). Details. Details. Now on to what you are all here for . . . the actual Bach Post

The substitute title for this post would be:

How Awkward Can this Episode of Bach Get AKA the Hometown Dates

We didn’t name it that because we’re pretty positive that this is the first week the show has not highlighted some sort of “romantic” helicopter ride. (I mean, seriously, ABC it is time to come up with something new to fulfill the “cool, adventurous, totally unexpected” date category)  Anyway. . . We’re going to take this post hometown date by hometown date.

LINDZI, Florida

• Impressions: Horses, more horses, mason jars attached to stems, why the hell is she calling him her “boyfriend” like he actually is her boyfriend
• Awkward moment: When Ben and Lindzi had to pull her parents in the chariot-like contraption to the dinner party
• Awkward Quote: “Horses have been apart of my life since before I was born. I mean, I was riding before I could walk.”
  • I, personally, would loooove to see a walking fetus.

Preeeeetty much sums that date up.

NICKI, Texas

• Impressions: Honestly, who is this chick? where did she come from?? Whyyy was her mom giving her an awkward leg message?  Why does she have a tramp stamp? Why was she wearing a stripped shirt and then a sparkly shirt and then the stripped one again (horrible editing of this episode aside)? WHYYYYYYYYY??
• Awkward moment(s): Every time she and Ben kissed
  • If someone could tell Ben to stop licking his lips before every kiss, EK and I would be appreciative

KACIE B, Tennessee

• Impressions: This is the worst date ever: “I know let me bring him to a high school football field named after my grandfather while I twirl a baton in front of a motley crew of randos”
• Awkward moment(s): Every time her family brought up the sanctity of marriage
  • News flash: Your daughter is on a reality dating show! And, gasp, at the end of it she could have been engaged! (Minus the fact that Ben kicked her to the curb)

Notice the motley and awkward background crew of randos

And the winner of the most awkward date is OF COURSE . . .

COURTNEY, Arizona

• Impressions:FAKE WEDDING WHAAAAAA???!?!?!
  • That was pretty much it. Well that and how Courtney’s mother looked like she could be one of those secret  Texan serial killers.
• Awkward Moment:FAKE WEDDING WHAAAAAAA?!?
  • Sweet wooden rings Courtney….also, we hope everyone noticed the poor editing as she and Ben were wearing those at the dinner “before” the wedding…. oh reality TV, it’s like you are fake and scripted or something….

Yet, The MOST awkward thing about this episode was by far Ben’s hair (there is even a twitter dedicated to  it) tied closely to him in the cowboy hat

A sweet side view of the atrocity that is his hair