The Real Winner? Da Matterhorn

by emilynemilynabottleofwine

Who got more camera time, shameless mentions, and longing looks on the season finale of the Bachelor? No, it wasn’t Courtney’s butt, it was the Matterhorn.

The most beautiful thing Ben has ever seen.

This episode, besides being really boring, was incredibly pointless. He basically admitted to his mother and his equally ugly haired sister that he had picked Courtney. It was obvious that after they gave their stamp of approval, Lindzi had no chance in the game.

Deciding who to pick, or admiring your hair ?

I know most people really don’t like Courtney, but Lindzi was kind of getting on my nerves too. From her super fake tan face, to her sudden onset of extreme clumsiness when meeting Ben’s family, to her less than deep life observations about how “propelling” off a cliff is like being in a relationship – she was like watching a really beautiful color of paint dry.

I kinda love you, you know?

I didn’t feel bad for her when Ben said he loved someone else (after saying he loved her . . . is anyone paying attention to this shit?). It also didn’t look like she cared either, did she even cry? She escaped the most boring life ever with Ben, and she gets to go back to what she does best, ride horses in ball gowns.

And how fitting was it that Courtney walked to her proposal in elbow high black gloves. If she wasn’t labelled a black widow before, she sure is now.

I will love you forever. Or at least until I drink all of your wine.

Oh my Dad. I am so glad this season is finally over.