Emily & Emily & A Bottle of Wine

A thrilling blog that will knock your wine-stained teeth off. Prepare yo' self.

Category: Musings

Leap Day – Little Known “Facts”

I don’t know about you, but this has already been a weird Leap Day. With that,  I bring you 5 things that are tangentially related to this random little day in February that you probably want to know:

1) You have a 1 in 1461 chance of being born on Leap Day (accuracy here is not guaranteed).

2) To make a Leap Year Cocktail you will need gin, grand marnier, vermouth, squeeze of lemon. Shake over ice and then serve.

3)After getting a little Leap Year Cocktail buzz on,  you may, or may not, have the urge to dance to this song (one of the only songs I could find that has the title “leap year” in it).

It’s kinda sloooooow.  So might I suggest that you and your leap year buzz dance to this song instead (as “jump” is a synonym  of “leap” it’s okay) . . .

4) Ja Rule was born on Leap Day in 1976 …. yaaa buddy

What a Little Leap Baby

5) This Clip from 30 Rocks Leap Day Episode:

http://www.nbc.com/assets/video/widget/widget.html?vid=1386220

Ben Flamdhbahdschmit

We know all of our followers look forward to our Bachelor entry because of our witty commentary on the girls, the dates, and the heart breaks. But this week we were so overcome with how AWFUL and BORING the episode was, we could only focus on one thing: how Ben Flajnik is THE WORST.

He seems entirely disinterested in everything the whole time. Stop saying ‘wow’ and pressing your tongue against your cheek everytime a women confesses her feelings towards you.

I can't believe women actually like you either, Ben.

Seriously, can you speak in sentences? He seems to max out at just one word. “Yeah,” “Wow,” or “Cheers”

"Wow" is right.

“Hey Cow!” . . . screaming at cows to try and make them look at you sounds about as fun as being on a date with Ben.

Do not get us started on his hair. It looks like pancake batter rolling down his head and then flaring out at the very tips. Isn’t the Bachelor supposed to be dreamy? All we can dream of is Ben getting a haircut.

I just like the way the wind catches my bangs.

Good thing the internet exists because there is proof that Ben’s hair was once at an acceptable length . . . a very long time ago.

High Schoolz

Another thing that made this episode suck: all the hot tub kisses. Was anyone else brought to the verge of being physically ill? We were. This needs to STOP. ABC, here is our plea: NO more helicopters, and NO more hot tubs.

Kiss Kiss

But THE most awkward moment of this episode, hands down, goes to our future and former bachelorettes. Way too obvious product placement (Titanic 3D), and outfits not fit for a single mother (Emily, I’m looking at you).

We look like streetwalkers. Lets go see a movie!!!

Now really, were any of you surprised that he dumped Nicki in the end? If so, you are an idiot. It was more than obvious. And Kacie B proved that she was insane/highly dramatic after she left Ben’s room and proceeded to lay down on a hotel hallway floor. Maybe thats what he saw wrong with you …..

Her heart will go on and onnnnnn

And if this post hasn’t left you with enough reasons to think Ben is one of the worst Bachelors in history, we will leave you with this hot pic of Ben dressed up as a “rock star.”

I'm on the far right, brah.

Until next time followers. Do YOU like Ben?

This is why ….

… Jennifer Aniston hates you.

Really? On stage?

Obviously, Angelina doesn’t give a shit.

Ry Ry’s Corner

I know all you followers have been dying to know whats going on in the mind of Ry Ry. Well guess what, we have too. While Ry Ry isn’t smoking meat, he can usually be found around the house in this get up (yes, there is someone underneath those layers):

"It's so ****ing cold in here"

As you can see from this picture, EK is on her computer listening to some poppin’ Youtube tunes. What does Ry Ry think of EK’s music?

Direct quote : “your music is weird
really weird
what is this?!
it sounds like a;lsdfkjwoiefjal;skfowas;lkffw
aaaaaaah umbaaaaaaa alsds
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee oooooooooooohhhhhhhooooooo
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa yo mis my buba beibedie didididd didid deeeeeeeeeee”

Sigh.

After a little incident with a soup pot being left outdoors, EK has been giving adorable Ry Ry just a *little* bit of a hard time. His response to EK’s little jabs?

“Im going to tell your mom you are being mean to me!”

Don't be a foo' stay in skool

Ry Ry, after buying 100 Glad plug-ins: “the house smells like foo foo.”

As an aspiring astronaut, Ry ry makes the following observation: “didnt know canada had a space program?”

Space wannabee

Until next time followers ….

This post was Arlo approved.

Ry Ry is my adoptive father

Craving the Outdoors

Today is a beautiful day. I just took EF’s dog for an hour long walk, the whole time listening to some good ol’ bluegrass on my ipod. All the walk did though, was heighten my craving for getting out to the great outdoors of Oregon. Good thing we are going camping next weekend!

Last year, around this time, we went down to the California red woods. It was a beautiful trip, minus forgetting our tarp and getting rained out the second night. Besides the point …. If you want to see some really great sights, you should definitely check out the area.

Tent in the trees

A nice rest after a hike

California Coast

This weekend will be a little different because we are headed not to the ocean, but to the desert!

I’ll leave you with a little diddy that kept me chugging away on my walk.