Ben Flamdhbahdschmit

by emilynemilynabottleofwine

We know all of our followers look forward to our Bachelor entry because of our witty commentary on the girls, the dates, and the heart breaks. But this week we were so overcome with how AWFUL and BORING the episode was, we could only focus on one thing: how Ben Flajnik is THE WORST.

He seems entirely disinterested in everything the whole time. Stop saying ‘wow’ and pressing your tongue against your cheek everytime a women confesses her feelings towards you.

I can't believe women actually like you either, Ben.

Seriously, can you speak in sentences? He seems to max out at just one word. “Yeah,” “Wow,” or “Cheers”

"Wow" is right.

“Hey Cow!” . . . screaming at cows to try and make them look at you sounds about as fun as being on a date with Ben.

Do not get us started on his hair. It looks like pancake batter rolling down his head and then flaring out at the very tips. Isn’t the Bachelor supposed to be dreamy? All we can dream of is Ben getting a haircut.

I just like the way the wind catches my bangs.

Good thing the internet exists because there is proof that Ben’s hair was once at an acceptable length . . . a very long time ago.

High Schoolz

Another thing that made this episode suck: all the hot tub kisses. Was anyone else brought to the verge of being physically ill? We were. This needs to STOP. ABC, here is our plea: NO more helicopters, and NO more hot tubs.

Kiss Kiss

But THE most awkward moment of this episode, hands down, goes to our future and former bachelorettes. Way too obvious product placement (Titanic 3D), and outfits not fit for a single mother (Emily, I’m looking at you).

We look like streetwalkers. Lets go see a movie!!!

Now really, were any of you surprised that he dumped Nicki in the end? If so, you are an idiot. It was more than obvious. And Kacie B proved that she was insane/highly dramatic after she left Ben’s room and proceeded to lay down on a hotel hallway floor. Maybe thats what he saw wrong with you …..

Her heart will go on and onnnnnn

And if this post hasn’t left you with enough reasons to think Ben is one of the worst Bachelors in history, we will leave you with this hot pic of Ben dressed up as a “rock star.”

I'm on the far right, brah.

Until next time followers. Do YOU like Ben?

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